You’ve had an argument with your spouse or partner and you are in the wrong. You personally do feel it may be your fault, but you also have plenty of reasons why you did what you did. Maybe you feel that the things you said your partner needed to hear and you had well intentions. Now the relationship is at a breach and it needs some repair. You know if you don’t apologize there is going to be a silence act and some nasty words that may come back up. So, why not fess up and just apologize to restore what it is you had before?
The bottom line is that it’s not really all about who was right and who was wrong. You probably both have things to apologize for. You want your partner to know you mean you’re sorry when you apologize and it should be a heartfelt one. No one really enjoys the act of apologizing. So there are some really good sincere ways to say you’re sorry and really mean it.
Be Prepared – First, be prepared with what you are going to say to your partner and never rush the apology! Think it through very well and have a game plan for what you intend to say. You need to word things in a way that your partner feels you put a lot of time and energy and thought into apologizing. Make them see that you are truly sorry.
Be Sincere – Apologize with true sincerity. Realize the things that you did wrong or said wrong and confess those to your partner. Speak about what you feel wrong for doing to your partner and tell them that you feel more relieved by wiping the slate clean and that you want all the negative feelings to go away. Look your partner in the eye and hold their hands when you apologize. Show complete attention and sincerity.
But – Never ever use the word “but” when you apologize. This is the way you put blame on someone else and you want your apology to be all about you. Use the word “I” instead and never say what your partner did or how they may have been wrong. Let this apology be about you completely and what your faults were without any “but” to it.
Don’t Argue – If you’re trying to apologize and your partner does not accept it right away, don’t get upset, angry or argue about it at all. The apology is going to be worthless if you get into another confrontation. Let them have time to let your apology sink in and know that you did the right thing.
Changes – When you given this apology, always think about what you’re saying and what you’re trying to change. Try your best to focus on what happened and don’t let that happen again. What you want your partner to see is that you truly care enough to not make the same mistake again. Try to be true to your word and let those actions speak loudly next time.
Apologizing is not always easy and may not be very fun, but it’s a positive step in repairing relationships and it helps to heal the heart.