We’ve all experienced ‘the ick’ when dating. That overwhelmingly off-putting feeling of cringe when a potential partner turns into a thing of the past. Usually ‘the ick’ links to the process of dating but does this also apply to relationships?
Once you’ve gotten over the initial honeymoon period of infatuation, you can often find yourself noticing things you hadn’t before. Though we mostly ignore minor irritations, being in close proximity or attempting long-distance can make things worse. You may find yourself asking, ‘am I losing interest?’
Take a moment to consider the signs that reflect a loss of interest and ask yourself, do these apply to me or my partner?
1. You Don’t Miss Them
Taking time for yourself is healthy and helps create boundaries. But when you no longer notice your partner’s absence, it indicates you may no longer be interested. When your partner is unable to speak to you much or is away for a period of time, the natural reaction is to pine after them. During periods of separation, if you no longer feel the need to engage, this may indicate that you’re losing interest in your girlfriend or boyfriend.
This can be different when it comes to long-distance relationships as the option to physically see each other is limited. Yet, similar feelings of disinterest can come from a reluctance to speak to each other, using excuses to get out of scheduled calls, or even ignoring calls and messages. We’ve all seen guys who acknowledge a call and let it ring through, begging the question, is he losing interest? Chances are, yes.
2. Conversation Feels Forced
There’s nothing worse than gritting your teeth and getting through a conversation that does not flow. It’s a personal bugbear. In the midst of things, this may be in person, over the phone, or via a video call. Regardless of the means, if you find yourself limiting what you’re saying and sitting in an extended period of silence, a red flag may need to be raised.
Consider the way in which your conversations flowed in the past. Were silences common and comfortable? Then what has caused this to change? If you are no longer willing to share details of your day, you may be emotionally distancing yourself. This is the opportunity to collect your thoughts and consider, am I losing interest in my girlfriend or boyfriend?
3. Comparing Your Relationship
When you see another couple, what are your immediate thoughts? When happy and fulfilled, we can usually glance at public displays of affection and dismiss them as newly found infatuation. Personally – this only ever passes as bearable. But when things are going wrong in your own relationship, the tendency is to move this train of thought into envy and annoyance. Often, innocent stories and anecdotes from your friends can influence your own circumstances. Do you find yourself asking, is he losing interest? If so, would someone else be able to support me in a way that he can’t?
While comparing is inevitable, if thoughts become increasingly negative and your girlfriend finds themselves considering someone else, that can be one of the signs she’s losing interest. Always remember the way in which you perceive other relationships can be directly influenced by your immediate feelings.
4. Going Above And Beyond
Are you spending time with your partner because you want to or because it is convenient? In the initial stages of a relationship, you often find yourself going out of your way, for example, to pick up flowers, but now, that isn’t the case. If you find yourself dropping by ‘on the way’ to somewhere else, it may be time to consider if you genuinely want to spend time with them or if it’s out of convenience.
Reciprocal relationships are vital in showing mutual respect and affection. If you feel as though you no longer wish to reciprocate, take the time to evaluate where you stand. If external factors have influenced your effort, these can be rectified however, if they stem from a lack of interest, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship. It is also a good idea to evaluate where your partner stands and look out for signs he or she is losing interest.
5. You Don’t Want Affection
Affection and intimacy are forged through trust. This can outwardly manifest in holding hands, a kiss on the cheek, or an embrace. However, these can also occur in private, with moments that are just between you and your significant other.
If you find yourself reluctant or unwilling to be affectionate or intimate with your partner, it likely signifies a breach of trust. Whatever the case, an inability to allow yourself to be vulnerable can be damaging and cause distance. This may stem from losing interest in your partner, or even your partner’s reluctance to initiate these moments as they have lost interest in you. If your boyfriend no longer wants to be affectionate, this is one of the signs he’s losing interest in you, and the same can be applied to your girlfriend.
6. You Forget Things They’ve Told You
Birthdays, anniversaries, and significant events are things you discuss when initially courting. When settled and in more of a committed relationship, discussions, and events occur which warrant your attention and input. But what happens when your partner tells you things that you constantly seem to forget?
There are two things to consider, was this a genuine mistake, or did you have no intention of remembering what they said because you did not care to? Taking the time to listen is a way of emotionally supporting your partner. The same goes for your partner, if they no longer have the capacity to remember what you’ve said, that is a sign that he/she is losing interest.
Give yourself time to figure out why something may have changed. If you find yourself searching for ‘signs he’s losing interest’ or ‘signs she’s losing interest, it is likely that you need to sit down and have a discussion with your partner. Quite often, we are able to rectify the situation by using a healthy form of communication to clear up any concerns. If this is not an option, it may be best to consider whether the relationship has longevity.
For more information and advice, have a look at the relationship section of our website.