So you are into each other. The world is a pink bubble right now. He is really handsome and charming. She is exceptionally beautiful and pretty. It feels like you belong together. But are you actually a good love match?
We will explore the truth about compatibility and show you ways to ensure that you make the right decision before it’s too late.
What is relationship compatibility?
It’s not something you were born with. You cannot just naturally have it. Compatibility is a process and a learning curve. An attitude or will to make things work.
Compatibility is overrated. The similarities or personality traits that attract people to each other may not hold up over time. You might be attracted to someone because you both love to ski, but then one of you blows out a knee. When people are divorcing, they’ll say, “We have nothing in common.” But they have kids, a house and 30 years of shared experience.
Values about money and children run very deep and are important. The surface ones—antiques, sports, travel and gourmet coffee—don’t matter. —William J. Doherty, professor and marriage and family therapy program director, University of Minnesota
What really matters is that couples are spending quality time together. Moreover to share experiences and companionship together. To support each other in time of needs. Understanding one another and be emotionally available. Have strong attraction and desire your partner. Meet each other’s physical and emotional needs. Those are the factors that makes lovers compatible.
No two people are perfect love match by nature. Although people often talk about soul mates. They are convinced that that person will compliment them in every way. The truth is that issues are bound to arise at some stage of the relationship. And that’s ok. Compatibility means you will be able to tackle the problem together and overcome them.
How to pick a person you are compatible with?
Try and think outside the box. Evaluate your past relationships and dating patterns. See where things have gone wrong. Look behind the obvious and understand the tendencies. You need to identify and be aware of your own behavior patterns from the past. This will allow you to recognize who you are compatible with.
To find your love match is not a walk in the park. Above all, you must really like being around with this person. It’s essential to feel comfortable and peaceful around them. Forget about restricting and limiting your choices based on income level, job position and age. Stay open minded, and as a result the right partner will eventually show up.
Relationship compatibility by zodiac signs
It worth mentioning and look it up whether you believe in it or not. For the ones who are interested, it can be quite fascinating to read how much astrology gets relationship compatibility right. And for the ones who are skeptical, it’s an interesting journey to see what is out there.
Compatibility and chemistry
These two words are often used similarly in relationship and dating topics. But are they really?
A relationship without chemistry but high compatibility is like a comfy but boring armchair. It’s an ok relationship or marriage. A little dull, not so complicated but convenient companionship.
On the other hand, great chemistry but no compatibility relationships can be catastrophic. It’s what we call love and hate relationships. Usually start with a sudden rush of emotions and leads to passionate mainly physical relationship. However once things settle and reality kicks in, it dies out quick. Then throughout their time together this repeat itself over and over again.
The key is to have balance. Ideally you need to find the high chemistry/high compatibility magic combination. As a result you have got yourself a good love match.
What makes you and your partner a good love match?
There are a couple of things that you can look out for. Whether you just started dating or already in the relationship, it’s wise to look out for patterns and signs. These can help you ensuring that you are with the right person. Or they could indicate that you are wasting your precious time.
You share the same values
It’s an obvious one – or should be – but still very important to watch out for. Regardless how handsome he is, or absolutely beautiful she is, that’s not going to be enough on a long term. Whatever your values are, your partner needs to share them. Otherwise there will be no love, but war.
Your life and relationship goals are aligned
This means you as a couple are going to the same direction. Lets look at some examples:
♥ You want to get married the next 3 years ⇔ He doesn’t believe in marriage
♥ You would like to move together soon ⇔ He wants to live alone
♥ You want to see him every day ⇔ He only wants to see you on the weekend
♥ You want to go out on dates ⇔ He prefers to stay home and play video games
♥ You are thinking of buying a flat together ⇔ He would rather rent an apartment for himself
♥ You would like to move to a capital city ⇔ He is happy to stay in a village
♥ You want to save money for your future together ⇔ He spends everything he has each month
I am sure you understand what I am getting at. No matter how much we love somebody and have great chemistry, we need to walk towards a similar direction in life.
You share common interest
This may tie in with sharing the same values a little bit. Again, as you spend a lot of time together, consequently you better have some common interests. You love reading and listening to classical music while he is restless and wants to do clubbing couple of times a week. That’s not going to work.
Studies have shown that couples needs to have at least a couple of genuine common interest to make the relationship work on a long term. The type of activity doesn’t really matter but should be enjoyable for both.
There is physical attraction
Definitely. Like I mentioned before the two pillars are high compatibility and chemistry. To find a good love match that will last forever, you will need both.
We often say “sex is not that important for me, I can live without it” as long as there is emotional support. I mean yes, sure it’s essential but let’s be real. Sex, chemistry, attraction or whatever we call it, is essential. Of course it’s not enough on its own. With it you need emotional availability.
But let’s not forget that touch and kisses or a warm hug is scientifically proven to make us feel better and happier.
Feeling safe and peaceful around your partner
A little bit difficult to put it into words but I am sure you already know what I mean. There is no particular reason, but you feel so chilled and eased around them. You feel calm and peaceful with the whole world when you are with your love.
Actually it’s one of the things you should really look out for. This is an inner calling or “advice” that I suggest you hear out and follow.
Your partner find your imperfections adorable
How cute is that, right? You cannot be perfect 24/7, not even for the person who loves you so much. We all have quirks and flaws. Life is not a Disney cartoon where everything is immaculate. In a healthy relationship, partners accept each other’s flaws and even find them endearing.
You don’t want to change each other
Last but not least. So many couples think that they have what it takes to change their partner. They even think that makes them special. It boosts their confidence. They can say “He is a changed man” – because of me.
It’s a misconception only. What really matters is that we adapt to each other. We make effort to meet each other’s needs. That doesn’t not however means sacrifice. When you forcefully change somebody, they will lose their essence and never going to be the same person again.
You need to be in a relationship where you can be yourself, right? So as your partner. Do not change one another because you want that person to be different. After all you choose your partner for a reason.
Are you and your partner actually a good love match?
To be honest, only you can make that call. There is no way that someone else will have the right solution, other than you. You already have the knowledge, the feeling and the correct answer within you.
Sometimes it’s difficult to see. Perhaps because we are too lonely and want somebody just to be there for us, even if it’s only physical. Sometimes we are in a relationship that we feel, we should not be in. And sometimes we are alone even though we know who we are supposed to be with.
The interesting thing is that we always know. Listen for it and you’ll see and find your love match.
It is not until you rhyme with a person that makes you their perfect match, it is when you are satisfied with each others peculiarities, and find jewels in their loopholes.
― Michael Bassey Johnson