While conflicts and arguments in a relationship are often seen as a negative thing, it’s not necessarily the case.
Research suggests that healthy arguments raise awareness of another’s perspective and that’s not bad, is it? In fact it can be motivating and vitalizing to bring up a topic that we care about and show our interest and passion in it.
Healthy arguments gives us a voice and add values to our relationships. The only question is how to keep it in the right balance so it’s beneficial for both parties.
Fighting vs Healthy Arguments
To make a long story short, there is one major difference between the two. Fighting with each other is destructive in every way for the relationship, while healthy arguments are constructive.
Let’s look at some examples:
Fighting About The Past
Picking a fight over something that happened before you two were even a couple is nonsense and nothing good ever comes out of it. Whether it’s about and ex or some bad habits, doesn’t matter, as it’s not something that can be changed. So why bother?
When It Turns Personal
If your partner attacks you personally and the aim of it is to blame or shame you. Most times this comes from their own insecurity as they are unable to feel safe in the relationship. Therefore they put it in on you and make it personal.
The Game Of Blame
Unfortunately disagreements are often turned into a search. Who is at fault? None of the parties will give up their stand which will result into an unhealthy and unnecessary fight. Rather than hearing each other out and take care of each other’s emotions, there are only finger pointing and blaming follows.
This is one of the toughest, most painful and scarring way of handling a disagreement or difference of opinion. The abuse can be:
Any of these can and will lead to a very sad, dissatisfying and broken relationship. Sometimes it’s a vicious circle and the people involved in it, don’t even recognize, therefore it becomes the norm for them. If you have constant abusive fights I would strongly suggest you to get out of the toxic relationship or marriage while you can.
How To Have Healthy Arguments?
First of all forget about the negativity that surrounds the word argument.
That’s the beauty of argument, if you argue correctly, you’re never wrong.
I agree. Arguing is basically reasoning or discussing a matter. Establish a point or fact that people may have different view on. It doesn’t have to be filled with anger and hatred.
There are ways that arguing can be surprisingly good for your relationship but before we look into that you may wanna understand if you and your partner are actually a good love match.