I am sure you know numerous causes while couples fight. But there is one issue that could affect a relationship very severely and can be the reason for mistrust among couples, and it has to be addressed. I’m talking about financial issues; it can be any aspect of life, from getting your own house to choosing your children’s career.
These money issues could create other collateral problems to a new height. Today I am going to address a few of those challenging financial issues that create tension in the relationship. I will show you how to avoid but more importantly how to handle them . Read on to find out!
When Your Partner Hides Something From You
When your partner hides something from you that is finance-related, especially if it was about debt, then it’s simply the breach of loyalty. The confrontation would be quite difficult and harsh as you will feel betrayed, and he or she would either lie, shut down, or get defensive. Apart from developing trust issues between you two, hiding debt could even lead to more serious decisions such as break up or divorce.
To deal with such an issue, when you discover that your partner has been hiding debt from you, instead of being judgmental and confronting, let him feel your support and encouraged a discussion to find the source of it. Ensure him like, ‘I don’t know how you got into this, but will you help me understand how all this happened so we could come up with a possible solution together.’
You should explore activities or purchases of your partner that led him into this debt. Understanding the reason behind the problem and sharing the burden will make him realize that it’s better to be open about it than hide. Both of you should review the list of expenses and financial goals so that you may be transparent about money and manage it together.
When One Of You Is Fired
In such a case, it can create a negative impact on his sense of identity and independence. The whole situation generates two things; first, the one who’s fired feels like he/she is not earning their keep, while secondly, the one who’s earning had to bear the entire financial burden.
To deal with such an issue, work on finding a new job. But not in a rush! First figure what your partner really want to do. Only then search for the type of vacancies that your unemployed partner will be fit for and then set a realistic goal for getting back to work again. Moreover, now as only one of you is working, analyze the budget to cut back the extra expenses.
When Your Business Fails
Owning a business can actually blur the line between your personal lives and work. Just imagine when all of you are dependent upon your business, and it fails. The impact on your relationship and your home life apart from the financial issues. It would be hard to take for the both of you.
To deal with such a scenario, first get realistic about your financial status and take all the necessary steps to help you face it. For those who have put significant resources into their business could reach for the help of trusted financial resources.
Losing a business can undoubtedly be quite emotional, but couples may have different views regarding the loss. One may think of it as a failure, and the other as a relief to move on from. There may be that one of you begins to say the ‘see what I told you before’ type of talks. Be careful not to have a destructive conversation with your partner. No one should be blamed. Instead, you will need to move on united with mutual support.
When Your Partner Starts Gambling
When your partner develops a gambling problem, you need to be aware that it is an addiction. Similar to others, gambling is also very hard to stop. When you express to your partner how destructive all this is, he/she will not be changing just upon your request. You may feel paralyzed as you cannot handle the scenario, which may build up resentment in you.
The best way to deal with such a situation is seeking help from outside. It needs to be handled by a professional, a coach, counsellor, therapist, psychologist. Addiction is not something to be taken lightly. As your partner is getting help, you should be taking care of the finances. You may also try creating separate accounts if you had a common one before.
Moreover, pay the bills and all other similar responsibilities to avoid the penalties and late fees. Credit loss, missed payments, etc. In case you were facing overdue bills, you may get help from a financial adviser to manage such issues. Legal assistance could also be a way out.
The Bottom Line
Money related issues not only create financial crisis but also mental stress. You should be quite creative in saving and investing to overcome economic hardships. Becoming angry, guilty, frustrated, self-hating will not solve your problem. In the opposite, it will be destructive for your health and relationship. You should prioritize your mental health first. Arguments will do no good.
Be calm to handle the financial matters. Research on how to deal with such a crisis will and if you are stuck, seek for professional help. Your mood and attitude towards your family in such a stressful condition will have a negative impact on them. Try to handle the entire situation wisely and support your partner so he can make the right decisions. Together you can come out of it stronger.