In most relationships, when couples reach their maximum comfort with each other, their levels of effort dissipate. Not surprisingly this is the time when the honeymoon phase come to an end.
One of the things we tend to do is let ourselves sink into this “who cares any more” kind of mood. You have already conquered her/his heart so you have nothing to lose.
You don’t care about what you wear any more – you are in your sweatpants 24/7 – and you don’t dress up pretty or handsome. Your hair is like when you woke up, brushing your teeth became a luxury. Hardly put any make up on any more and in general you just don’t care about your look.
Are you sure this will have a good effect on your relationship on a long run? There is a saying that goes “Never stop dating your partner”. I absolutely agree.
No matter how long you two have been together, treat every moment like it’s the first. Think about each occasion as a date. And what did you do in the honeymoon phase while you were still dating?
You were excited, prepared, neat. Took care of your physical appearance, your scent and your verbal communication. You radiated kindness, confidence and passion.
Keep doing it!
Even though you probably live together now or already married, everybody needs their own time and space. Allowing space for each other enables both parties to do what they love.
It’s natural to have different interest and goals in life. Let them go after their dreams. It certainly doesn’t mean they don’t love you or don’t want you to be involved in that part of their life, but it’s their journey and you need to understand that.
You don’t have to stick together day and night. Having some “me” time also helps couples to be excited to see and be with each other after taking care of their own needs.
Keeping The Honeymoon Phase Alive
It’s a question of how much you believe in your love and the relationship to flourish. Surely, as you are aware there is scientific proof that the honeymoon phase usually fades away. I would however emphasize the the world “usually”.
So how is it possible that sometimes you keep seeing these incredible cute old couples holding hands. They can hardly walk but you can feel how much they genuinely love and care for each other. They spent a lifetime together and they are still in the honeymoon period.
What’s that about?
I believe they have great respect and understanding of each other. I believe they learnt to accept one another as they are. I believe they were able to adapt. They could compromise when it was necessary.
Most importantly I strongly believe that they took care of each other’s emotional and physical needs.
By going back in time. What I mean is that they kept the memory of how it was when they first met, how things were in the beginning of the relationship and they periodically revisited that. Consciously.
When the fire burns out, you put more wood on it, don’t you? It’s the same principle in a relationship or marriage. When you feel it’s going to end soon, you make sure that there is something to keep it going.
Remember and revisit the happy moments, experiences in your life that made the both of you happy. Be adventurous, be open and carry on exploring new things together.
Only then you will end up grey and old in a loving, happy relationship or marriage.