In the “choosing phase” there is another vital element that will define whether you will keep the one you are attracted to or let it go.
Yes – it is the kissing.
A recent study shows that kissing is an essential testing method that we use in order to make a decision. Not only it has a role to help us choosing the right partner but also to maintain a healthy long-term relationship.
A kiss is a secret told to the mouth instead of the ear; kisses are the messengers of love and tenderness
Now you are definitely in love and successfully entered the next level called ideal stage of romance. Healthy idealization of our partner is a normal part of this phase.
Here we admire our loved one and we are wiling to explore them more in depths also accepting his or her imperfections.
Also our best part is emerging and presenting itself day by day. We may want to do things we have never done before or try new experiences that we never thought we would want to try.
Once we passed this and step into the next level the ordeal stage ( usually somewhere after six months ) we starting to learn more about our partner and may even begin to see some things that displease us.
Some habits that we found adorable before, may seem like a little annoying now.
Also as the “honeymoon period” – as some call it – ending, we are slowly reverting back to our ordinary personality. This is the time when arguments and problems arise in a couple’s life.
According to Professor John Gottman there are four things that kill a relationship stone dead.
- Contempt ( sarcasm , name-calling, mimicking, eye-rolling )
- Stonewalling ( when your partner is neglecting you, ignoring and unwilling of communication with you of any sort )
If you want to prevent yourself from experiencing the aforementioned feelings, life situations or you wish to make love last, study and know yourself, be aware of your limits before you enter a relationship.
Be honest from the start, do not hide things just because you think your partner may dislike you for them.
Know your own boundaries and do not be afraid to express your feelings and needs.
Do it for you and not for others – with it – you are allowing to love yourself and that will reflect back on your life and relationships.